i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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