i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Randomize
