Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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