we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
