smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
