I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
