the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Randomize
