in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
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