Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
