so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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