so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
