how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
