One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
