I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
