do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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