Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
