Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
