I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
