It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize