You really coming over, don't trick.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize