He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
