I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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