im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
COCAINE IS GR8
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