OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
