I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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