If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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