You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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