I skipped work to stalk him.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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