so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
