they need to just BURY HIM!
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
