I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Randomize
