Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
