after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Randomize
