Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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