you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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