I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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