So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Randomize
