the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Randomize
