Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
