Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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