I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Randomize
