And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
