I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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