and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
