It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
lets start a swedish sibling band together
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
