my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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