Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
His hands were made for my vagina.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Randomize
