You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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