I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
That accounts for only three of the penises
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Randomize
