his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
