and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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