She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
