White coat. Heels.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Randomize
