im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
