It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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