I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Randomize
