Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize