Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize