i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
