I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
did i just pee glitter
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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