Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Drunk is a universal language darling
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