Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I'm getting married
To pizza
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize