you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
