Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize