It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I should be sponsored by Trojan
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Randomize
